Rising Beyond the Silence: Empowering Survivors of Childhood Trauma
A Journey of Healing, Resilience, and Transformative Growth
Content and Trigger Warning:
This article contains discussions about childhood sexual abuse and trauma that might be distressing or triggering for some readers. Reader discretion is advised.
In a world often shrouded in silence and shame, Jess Berry stands as a beacon of hope and empowerment. Her journey, a testament to resilience and transformation, echoes the triumph of the human spirit over adversity. Jess, a Victory Coach and a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, has dedicated her life to helping others navigate the labyrinth of healing, guiding them toward reclaiming their power and embracing a life of resilience and joy.
Behind her radiant smile and unwavering determination lies a story of survival, strength, and unwavering courage. Despite the shadows of her past, Jess emerged as a fierce advocate for self-love, holistic health, and trust—a testament to the transformative power of embracing one's inner strength. In this candid conversation, Jess shares her insights, offering a guiding light for survivors seeking solace and a path toward healing.
Here, Jess sheds light on her journey, her coaching approach, and the transformative power of igniting victory in the lives of survivors. Her words echo not only her personal triumph but also the unwavering hope and resilience that define her mission—a mission to help others rise above the scars of their past and step into a life filled with hope, purpose, and boundless possibilities
1. Introduction: An overview of your journey, highlighting your pivotal experiences and the values guiding your mission.
In my early teenage years I was reflecting on the biggest lesson I’d learned from life and settled on: it doesn’t matter what happens to you, what matters is what you do about it. It took me quite a few years to figure out what to do about it.
After surviving 9 years of childhood sexual abuse, sprinkled with divorced parents, poverty, and neglect, I continued to survive in fear. The voice of shame narrated my existence and I stayed a victim to my past. While I appeared to be fine, I was repeatedly sabotaging my happiness. As I suffered in silence, my relationships and overall well-being suffered as well.
By outsourcing my worth, giving away my power, and settling for less than I deserved I had become my own worst enemy–keeping me locked in my cage of fear.
In 2019, I hit an all-time low, walking across a busy street–not caring if I was hit or not. I felt completely alone, lost, helpless. My life story was consumed by victimhood.
A few days later I read an excerpt from a college textbook about people with disabilities and leaning into what is disabling us. I found the key: acceptance.
I’d been running from my demons, ignoring my emotions until they exploded out, searching for safety outside of myself. I’d been turning to my relationships, my work, my achievements, etc. for years in an attempt to convince myself I was worthy of love. I found temporary comfort in exercise and food, rarely truly connecting with myself. Trusting others was out of the question because I hadn’t learned how to trust myself.
What I really needed was to accept myself with love.
So, at age 21, my self-love journey began.
I started to rebuild myself one thought, one action, one day at a time. I focused on my strengths and made them stronger. I acknowledged my weaknesses as opportunities for growth and developed them too. Most of all, I accepted my past trauma as a gift from God, equipping me with the wisdom to guide others to personal freedom, safety, and joy.
I began mindfully healing (aligning my mind, body, and spirit) in a way that empowered me to show up for myself and others with a love-based presence. I used my values of love, health, and trust to guide me in creating my personal freedom. Doing so has allowed me to speak freely about my past, recognizing it as a catalyst for inspiring change in others. I became a Victory Coach, empowering other survivors of childhood sexual abuse to get out of victimhood and start being the victor in their life story. Over the past few years, I’ve held space on social media, in public speaking settings, and 1:1 with clients for others to share their voices as well, helping them feel seen and heard in their pain, confusion, and loneliness around the abuse.
To my younger teenage self, I would say here’s what you do about what happens to you:
You make it work FOR you. You throw away the victim card and ignite victory; you start intentionally, accountably, and powerfully walking through your fears, in loving acceptance, in order to actualize the life you’re capable of living. Because no matter how alone, lost, or helpless you may feel, you are ALWAYS capable and you ALWAYS have a choice.
2. Empowering Survivors: Insights into your coaching approach and how you help survivors heal and find sustainable happiness.
Igniting Victory Coaching takes a holistic approach to healing and personal growth, specifically tailored for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Through building a foundation of love, nurturing holistic health, and fostering trust during our 12 weeks together, I empower survivors to navigate their unique path to deeper healing, resilience, and a restored sense of well-being. They learn how to cultivate sustainable happiness through igniting victory: the practice of intentionally, accountably, and powerfully walking through your fears, in loving acceptance, in order to actualize the life you’re capable of living.
Using evidence-based techniques, personalized goal-setting, and a mindful approach, I work collaboratively with clients to build a foundation for lasting change, while fostering a safe and supportive space. My clients embark on a journey of self-discovery, embracing challenges as opportunities, and celebrating the victories--big and small! I am dedicated to helping survivors not just survive but thrive, reclaiming their narrative and fostering a resilient mindset for a happy and empowered life.
3. Overcoming Challenges: Addressing the complexities survivors face and your advice for those on the path to healing.
With so many complexities around childhood sexual abuse, there are a myriad of ways the unresolved trauma can manifest in one’s life: not feeling safe, not trusting feelings of safety or love, not trusting themselves or others, sabotaging their inner peace and joy, unhealthy relationships, limiting themselves in fear, outsourcing their worth and sense of self, possessing a fragmented health, suffering in silence, anxiety, depression, etc. Many of these are symptoms of a lack of acceptance and self-love. My advice would be to begin your own self-love journey. To start living with intention and accountability so you can powerfully show up as the victor instead of the victim–because you are worth it and deserve so much more than a self-limited life.
4. Encouragement and Support: Guidance for survivors who may feel trapped by their past and are seeking a way forward.
It can be a difficult concept at first, but survivors need to take accountability for their past. NOT responsibility for what was done to them. But how they are choosing to allow it to impact them now. First, acknowledge the abuse, pain, and everything that came with it. Second, accept what is out of your control. Third, ACT on what you can control. What can you control? Your attitude, whether or not you ask for help, your personal development, where your feelings of worthiness come from, etc. Find someone who’s been there and gets it. Whether a therapist, friend, or Victory Coach like me, allow it to be someone who’s done the work of healing–who recognizes healing is not an end destination, but a lifelong journey that can be filled with healthy love and trust in oneself and others. Speak up and stop suffering in silence. You can either stay in victimhood and keep sabotaging your well-being, or become your biggest cheerleader igniting victory wherever you go!
5. Resilience and Hope: Sharing your perspective on resilience and the transformative power of hope in the healing journey.
Resilience is built on choices. We make choices every day that either build our resilience muscle, or let it fade away. Self love, pursuing our purpose, happiness, etc. are all choices. One choice that supports our resilience is hope.
As a young girl crying herself to sleep, I prayed sincerely asking “Will it ever be okay?” I immediately felt a wave of peace as my life flashed before my eyes–too fast to grasp any one frame. But the essence was of joy and blessings greater than I could imagine at the time. Whether or not it was divinely from God, I chose to have hope in this narrative.
Since then I have hoped for a better future, and worked to show up in alignment with that hope, so I could actualize the life I felt I was capable of living.
6. "I am Empowered because...": Expressing unique qualities or perspectives that define your approach to empowering survivors.
I am empowered because I choose to allow life to work FOR me rather than against me. I choose to love, prioritize my health in all areas of life, and trust. I’ve developed a victor > victim mindset. I’ve cultivated a love-based > fear-based presence. I’ve learned to operate from dream mode > survival mode. I live intentionally, accountably, and powerfully, showing up as the victor in my life story and helping others do the same; empowered people empower other people.
For more insights, guidance, and empowering content, follow Jess Berry - Victory Coach on LinkedIn and on Instagram. Join her journey towards healing, empowerment, and personal victory. Let’s walk this path together towards a life filled with strength, resilience, and joy.
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